Feeling "Home" at Home.

...I have been compiling such a list this summer. More than last year, I know I'm going to miss so many things from Philadelphia this summer. Last year, though, was different, I rested assured that I would have the comfort of returning to Philadelphia and all those things on the list when the summer was over. This year, I rest a little less assured. I know for certain that I will not be returning to Philadelphia when the summer is over. Now, pity and don't at the same time. As you know, I will be in Rome next year instead of Philadelphia. This is a phenomenal experience, many of my friends and family are jealous, and I wouldn't trade it for the world. However, I might trade it if what was behind door number two was living in Philadelphia.

Philadelphia is so much farther from home than I ever though I'd be. I'll admit, I am a bit of a momma's boy and do like being home. Well, until I moved to Philadelphia. Now, the only thing at home is the emptiness in my heart reserved for those things that only Philadelphia can give. I know at least one of you who reads this understands--things like the fresher food at Reading Terminal, tattoos and piercings and debauchery on South Street, history and art in Old(e) City.

I am sitting right now in the hospital waiting for my father's surgery to be done (rather routine, nothing to fear) and creating an even bigger list of things to add to the already long list. Ah, me...what to do. I think I have found home.

We read a short story by Hemingway, Soldier's Home, which is about a soldier several years after he has left the service and has returned home to his small-town rural American town and how he feels about it. And he just doesn't feel right, he just doesn't feel home. He's not sure why which makes him act wierd and his acting wierd makes those around him act wierd which turns into a whole Catch-22 issue (remind me, that's a book I want to read). My AP English teacher said to us, "Baby Boos, you may not get this now, but in just a few months you will. You may not feel it when you come home for Thanksgiving, but certainly once you come home for Christmas the first time, you will." And now, I do. I know exactly how he felt. I just don't feel home at home. But I feel home in Philadelphia. And I'm giving it up to go to Rome for a year...poor me, I know, but it is quite a big deal for me. But I'll be back--I hope. Of course, every tells me that once I'm there for a year, I'll end up giving everything up to live in Rome. Maybe I well, maybe I will live in Bella Roma. Of course, only if my friends come to live with me in Rome.

Happiness for y'all, if only for now....
JCM